I read the entire paper this morning – I mean, every section of the New York Times and some of the Sacramento Bee.
While being a caregiver can be deeply rewarding, every caregiver has her little resentments. My big one was never being able to read the paper before Dad took it over. When he stopped being able to read the paper in his last weeks, I was working too hard at caregiving to read. Reading the paper became symbolic of the freedom I lost as a caregiver.
Now, I have freedom, complete freedom to spend my mornings as I choose, reading the paper over a cup of coffee.
This morning I asked myself, “This? This is what you longed for?”
And I answered, “It wasn’t worth it. I’d trade a thousand mornings of reading the paper for a thousand mornings with Dad.”