I can, therefore I am

Cocktails with Maddie at Clyde Common

Cocktails with Maddie at Clyde Common

Last week, Todd and I looked at each other in surprise when we came to the same realization. We could go to a movie. We could go out for a cocktail. We could watch recorded TV shows. We could eat baked potatoes for dinner, leftovers, or skip dinner altogether and snack on pita chips and hummus with a great bottle of wine.

I’ve been out of town a total of almost three weeks in the 5 1/2 weeks since Dad died on Jan. 12. I will get home today and leave tomorrow for a friend’s 50th birthday bacchanalian.

With Maddie starting a new permanent job next week (with benefits!), I realized we could do something fun. So we went to Portland where I showed her the wonders of Powell’s Books, the Living Room Theater (where we saw Oscar-nominated short animated films), and restaurants like Andina and Clyde Common.

I know I’m free in a way I haven’t been in seven years, but I can’t quite wrap my brain around it yet. I keep waiting for the electronic collar to zap me when I’ve come to the end of my tether. Or worse, the phone to ring with Dad on the other end, saying, “Bets, I need help. Where are you?”

It’s going to take a while to get used to my new reality. Todd, too. He isn’t getting much in the way of meals these days (I can hear my mother’s voice chastising me for that). But maybe I’ll surprise him and even shave my legs for a change. What a concept.

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One response to “I can, therefore I am

  1. Bets,

    That’s great. I feel sort of the same way now that Mom is gone as I now don’t have to go down to assist her with things she can no longer do, nor ever could do, like deal with computer problems.

    But the tether now is finances so I still feel reigned in as all my money, just about goes to food, bills, gas, and rent. 😦

    Doing jury duty this week, with yesterday being my first, and I hope I get excused today so I can get on with my life again.

    However, after finally making it to the courtroom at quarter to 11AM, we got dismissed for the day as they were not ready, so came home and worked on portfolio stuff much of the rest of the day. Goal is to get that done so I can begin to write the resume, cover letter and then begin the job search.

    Twas good seeing you, and the family Saturday at a lovely memorial for your Dad.

    Love you other sister.

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